說再見是最困難的事情

（中英雙語版）

 

作者：楊天江

 

2024年6月21日瑪麗克萊爾學校（AMC）校長為楊天江頒發小學畢業證書（攝影：陳雙娥）

 

我最后一次拿出法語作業，走到老師面前，把書遞給她，用法語說了那句熟悉的短語：“Madame Léger？我完成了。”

她拿起開始批改。我悄悄地回到座位上坐下，班上的其他人繼續開玩笑和大笑。我打開了幾周前在七年級組織的書展上買的一本書。

回到家，我突然意識到那是我在六年級 AMC 最后一次交正常的家庭作業。這并不是我會去特別想念的事情，而是那些我們在課堂上大笑、忍受隨機考試的日子，甚至還有另一首法語詩要交的感覺，還有一大堆其他作業。我甚至會懷念那種同時做多件事的感覺，一邊做英語作業一邊做課堂作業，看到用可愛的紅墨水寫在我名字旁邊的“15”的感覺。

很多我曾經討厭或希望消失的東西終于消失了，但我永遠不會忘記在正常的上學日上學的感覺。那些日子淹沒在時間和無處，只不過是一個純粹的記憶。我將永遠珍惜又一個無聊的上學日子的感覺，現在復習和考試即將到來，今年，一切都是最后一次發生，這個學期是我們的最后一學期，這是我們的最后一個萬圣節，我們的最后一個情人節，我們一起度過的最后一個生日，我們最后的時刻和記憶，都在眨眼間消失和離去。

早在二月份，我常常想：“哦！五月什么時候才來！到那時紐約就這么近了！但我還是很難過要離開這里。”

現在，從今天開始，2024 年 5 月 25 日，我愿意付出很多，只為回到那一刻，知道我們在一起的日子還沒有結束。我們的最后一個冬天、夏天、春天和秋天都過去了。我們的最后一個夏天，就像所有的夏天一樣，將在歡樂和淚水中結束。

每天晚上，我都無法入睡，因為我想到要離開大家，離開那么多回憶和歡樂，那么多的共同的時刻和友誼。

例如，我永遠不會忘記我六年級的第一天，我們都在討論現在是六年級的事實，我們是傳奇，是每個人都仰望的人，是最受歡迎的人。我也永遠不會忘記我第一次遇到我所有的新老師，因為他們仔細地解釋了這一年（我們的最后一年）將會是怎樣的。我永遠不會忘記，當我說我們今年的法語老師和去年的法語老師是一樣的時，我感到既驚訝又釋然，因為我知道這不是一個瘋狂嚴格的老師，因為幸運的是，他們決定在同一年退休。

楊天江（右四）和她的同學們（攝影：陳雙娥）

 

我永遠不會忘記我們在教室內開的玩笑，比如稱 Davejit 為“巨無霸”，并聲稱他的祖國就是麥當勞。我也永遠不會忘記 Nicolas 踩到香蕉皮滑倒的時候，Sally 說：“機械”、“凱撒”、“縮寫”等等。我也永遠不會忘記 Davejit 試圖在冰上做 Sturdy 時，他滑倒了，每一個動作都失敗了。

那么多笑話和那么多微笑，都過去了。離開很痛苦，但我別無選擇。我不喜歡把任何事情看作“結束”，因為只要有時間和生命，就沒有結束，它只是……改變。就像我將如何從 AMC 變成 UTS，改變課程，改變生活方式，改變朋友。

AMC 永遠在我心中占據著特殊的位置，這是不可否認的，AMC 就像第二個父母一樣撫養我，教我明辨是非，塑造了我今天的形象。

學校里的每個人都對我今天的形象負有責任，無論影響是大是小，是好是壞，我都是每個人的一份子，永遠是 AMC 的一部分。

楊天江和同學們在畢業典禮上表演節目（攝影：陳雙娥）

 

AMC 是一切的開始，我很痛苦地意識到我們不再是喜歡胡鬧的二年級學生，而是六年級的學生，沒有人準備好接受改變和告別。我敢肯定，這最后三周將是難以忍受的，但這是我們在學校里在一起的最后三周，在共同去紐約旅行之前，在畢業之前，在可怕的告別之前。

我班上的每個人，無論現在是否在場，都對我的生活影響最大。他們為我的個性、我的觀點奠定了基礎，這是我永遠不會離開的一部分。盡管我們有過無數次的爭吵和打架，但我還是深深地關心著每一個人，他們在我心里都占有特殊的位置，說再見將是最困難的事情。

 

2024 年 5 月 25 日17:02于瑪麗克萊爾學校（AMC）

 

附英文版：

 

Saying goodbye is the most difficult thing

 

For the last time, I pull out my French homework, walk up to the teacher, and hand her the book, saying that familiar phrase in French:

“Madame Léger? J’ai fini.”

She takes the book and starts correcting. I quietly go back to my seat and sit back down, as the others in the class continue to joke around and laugh. I crack open a book I had bought a few weeks ago at the book fair organized by the grade 7s.

Back home, I now realize that was the last time ever in grade 6, at AMC, that I’d be handing in a normal homework assignment. This wasn’t something I’d particularly miss, but the fact that our days of laughing in class, suffering through random tests. Or even the feeling of having another French poem due, along with tons of other work assignments. I feel that I’d even miss the feeling of multitasking, doing my English homework along with my classwork, and the feeling of seeing the ‘15’, written next to my name in cute, red ink.

A lot of the things I used to hate, or wish would disappear have finally left, but I will never forget the feeling of going to school, on a normal school day. Those days, drowned into time and nowhere, are nothing more than a mere memory. I will forever cherish the feeling of yet another day of boring old school, now that revisions and exams are coming up, this year, everything is happening for one last time, this semester was our last. It was our last Halloween, our last Valentine’s Day, our last birthdays spent together, our last moments and memories, all disappearing and leaving in the blink of an eye.

Back in February, I used to think:’ Oh! When will May finally come! Then New York will be so close! Yet I’m so sad to leave.’

Now, as of today, May 25, 2024, I would give so much just to go back to that moment, to know our days together aren’t quite numbered just yet. Our last winter, summer, spring and autumn have all come to pass. Our last summer, like them all, will end with festivities yet also tears.

Every night, I’m kept awake at the thought of leaving everyone, of leaving so many memories and joys, so many shared moments and likes.

For example, I’d never forget my first day of Grade 6, and how we were all discussing the fact that now we were Grade 6, the legends and the ones everybody looks up to, the most popular ones. I’d also never forget my first encounter with all my new teachers, as they carefully explained how the year (our last), would be. I’d also never forget when I say we had our same French teachers from last year, feeling a mix or surprise and relief, knowing it wasn’t some crazy strict teacher, for thankfully, they had decided to retire that very year.

I’d never forget our indoor jokes, such as calling Davejit a ‘Big Mac’ and claiming his homeland was no other than McDonald’s itself. I will also never forget when Nicolas slipped on a banana peel, when Sally said:” Machinery”, “Caesar”, “Abbreation”, etc. I’d also never forget when Davejit attempted to do the Sturdy on ice, slipping and failing at every move possible.

So many jokes and so many smiles, all behind. It hurts to leave yet I have no choice. I don’t like to think of anything as an ‘ending’, for as long as there is time and life, nothing ends, it simply… Changes. Like how I will be ‘changing’ from AMC to UTS, changing classes, changing lifestyles, changing friends.

AMC will forever have a special place in my heart, there’s no denying that, AMC has raised me like a second parent, teaching me the rights and wrongs, and shaping me into who I am today.

Everyone in the school is responsible for who I am today, whether the impact be big or small, good or bad, I’m a little bit of everyone, and part-AMC forever.

AMC was the start of everything, and it pains me to realize that we are no longer 2 graders who like to goof around. But 6th graders, none of whom are ready for change and goodbyes. These last 3 weeks will be insufferable, I’m sure, but it is our last 3 weeks together, in school, before New York, before our graduation,

And before the dreaded Goodbye.

Everyone in my class, whether currently present or not, have impacted my life more than anyone else. They’ve set the base of my foundations for my personality, my perspectives, and that’s a part of me that’s never leaving. Although we’ve had so much countless arguments and fights, I care about each and every one of the guys deeply, they each hold a special place in my heart and saying goodbye will be one of the hardest things ever.

Friday, May 25, 2024, 5:02PM

楊天江2024年6月21日畢業典禮留影（攝影：陳雙娥）

 

作者簡介：楊天江，英文名Ayesha Yang，祖籍湖南漢壽縣，2011年10月13日出生于長沙，在新華社幼兒園度過快樂的童年，小學畢業于瑪麗克萊爾學校（AMC），現就讀于多倫多大學附屬中學（UTS），愛好籃球、擊劍、滑冰、鋼琴和繪畫，為該校辯論隊隊員、籃球隊隊員。

 

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